I'm hoping that one day I end up looking like a junkyard cat. I don't know why, but I think it's pretty cool when someone is pretty banged up.
I'm not a very careful guy, so my hands are all torn up, burns on my arms / legs, old gashes... Each one's got a story but at some point they start to get hard to remember. I've still got two eyeballs, both ears, and all my digits though.
Maybe it's that Hunter S. Thompson quote; “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming 'Wow! What a Ride!'"
Take up mountain biking then, I’m covered in gravel rash scars, tear scars, random cuts from trees scars, dents in my shins from stones, slices from maintenance, all sorts. It really is a sport that bites back.
As I’ve aged the scarring stays longer and is darker so I’m starting to look like a population distribution map of some kind.
Wouldn’t change it for the world, great sport, great adventures.
Can confirm that. Major scars and my first broken bone on my third time taking the bike. And I liked it a lot when I was younger.Never had the courage to buy myself a motorcycle but realized that I was going way faster than even my in my car with my bike. Love the thing
I don't necessarily want to look beat up, but I'm also fine with it. It's one of (not the only) the signs of a life lived. I've trained BJJ for years, and don't want cauliflower ear like some do. I've drained them a few times, but my ears have definitely changed a bit, and that's fine. I also teach BJJ and let the new people practice moves on me and they sometimes can bump me and give me a black eye. It's always fun to sign onto meetings when that happens, especially since I'm way past the age of fighting. New people are always slightly awkward around asking what happened.
When I go back to work after a weekend of working on the cars, my hands are cut up, black gunk in the creases from the grease that NO soap could wash off, burns from hot manifolds and getting too close to spinning pulleys and belts. Someone always says to me "you need to wear gloves."
My response is usually to hold up my hands, and say "this is my FAVORITE part."
I have so many scars from a childhood of running hard and falling, skateboarding, longboarding falls, burns from playing a lot with fires, running accidents and falls. It’s a good life.
Maybe I’m weird. I like my scars. I didn’t ask for any of them. Or I unconsciously asked for all of them.
Sometimes the universe makes a mark on you; what you do with that is up to you.
I got a little bold with dear Earth recently and she smacked me pretty hard. I knew what I was doing, knew the risks, and did it anyway. It’s maturing into a decently large scar, and I’m pleased. It’s a nice memory, that kiss.
Maybe I’m weird. Regret minimization, which most people seem to follow as a life strategy, is too boring for me. I always thought I’d die young but after luckily surviving some really stupid decisions in my youth, I’ve gotten much better at measuring risk.
It's a kind of survivor bias. Deadly scars never get such good personal feelings attached to them for obvious reasons. So the scars you have make you feel lucky.
the funny part is contemplating that every single day we’re alive, no matter what we do, we are increasing our “survivorship bias”. Might as well play with the odds a tiny bit, roll the dice and have some fun, BUT safely on the margins of course :) Learning those margins is the biggest survivorship hurdle.
Ironically, it's the things I didn't do that bring me the most regret. The times when I didn't stand up for something or someone, and took the safe route. Those times I have some regret for.
Breaking an arm, scars, etc- They are unpleasant at the time, but zero long term regret. They are like squares on a quilt that tell a story.
Even outside of the human body, appreciating things that have aged, served a purpose, and have been repaired so they can still accomplish that goal is a beautiful thing.
Kintsugi and wabi sabi are probably the most convenient terms to capture this.
I find nothing more satisfying of clothing that I've personally patched up and repaired the sea on. I have memories tied up in that. The same goes for the scar on my wrist from falling off that longboard in college when I was trying to learn (that was the end of that).
In John Sandford's "Prey" series, detective Lucas Davenport looks scary with a cut that goes from his forehead down his cheek. Bad guys know it's from his tough guy image but the reality is he got it from fishing when a hook went wild and ran down the front of his face. But he doesn't tell anyone that.
I have a prominent scar on my cheek. It's from Mohs surgery. People in my personal life know I'm a combat veteran and used to train BJJ and MMA, so it's always assumed that this scar has some drama associated to it. Even people who knew me before I had Mohs surgery tend to forget. When people ask I play it up a bit but then I let them down with the truth.
The only scars i like on my body are the ones from the plasma donations i have done. i have about 30 of them by now, with some strong emotions tided up in those pinpoints.
You can preplan too! My first two basal cells were close enough in symmetricallity on my shoulders that I asked the dermatologist to cut me just ever so slightly more on the second one to create a “wings clipped” effect. Now I have a clever response about fallen angels anytime someone asks about them
The film Crash from Cronenberg left me with this weird mixed feelings of repelling, fascination and curiosity. I don't know why, but happy to read it's a thing.
> I find that much anxiety can be alleviated by finding beauty in transience, imperfection, and scars. If we feel judged for our scars, we become afraid to get scarred. We follow the path that results in the least amount of pain, rather than the path that leads to the most amount of learning.
The concepts such as "appreciating", "beauty" etc are all artificial. You have what you have. There is nothing to appreciate or not appreciate. You. should take care of yourself and your folk. That's pretty there to it.
That doesn't make any sense. What do you mean by 'artificial'?
Humans 'appreciated' 'beauty' for centuries. Obviously, we've evolved the ability to do so and the word 'beauty' carries meaning for people and is an effective way to describe their sensory experience and interpretation.
Attemtping to negate the experience of beauty and appreciation through a poorly-formulated behaviouralist remark is akin to a teenager saying that they can't touch a table because touching is just repelling and we never actually touch anything because it's just repellent forces. In both cases, the new formulation is completely irrelevant and doesn't remove the actual meaning from the word.
I'm guessing that the motivation of your phrasing is rooted in a psychological trick that you're using because you're miserable with the fact that other people are experiencing joy through beauty and you've either not the time or not the inclination to do so. A sad perspective indeed.
So is every other “concept” in the world, doesn’t make them useless. You can “appreciate” yourself and your folk in a way that makes you more likely to take care of yourself and them. Scars can often have very negative effects on self esteem, and are a real mental hurdle for some people, are those feelings invalid?
It is only your straw-people that propose this kind of relativism. This was about gaining a perspective for appreaciating scars, as they carry memories. It is pointing at the beauty of scars. It is not inverting the meaning of the word, but aiming it at something thus far hidden. The fact that some scars for some people carry heavy trauma does not defeat the point in question.
Also, don't forget that there is no objective criterion for beauty - it is a judgment call. Therefore it is also mediated by language. Even if you correctly see that changing words does not on its own change the world, you are shooting past the target in denying that they have any unique power.
> This was about gaining a perspective for appreaciating scars
Yeah, and that's trying to make it sound good. It doesn't change the scar. They want you to trick yourself into thinking is is pretty and nice and sweet and, probably, meaningful.
> they carry memories
No, they don't. They may remind you of something.
> something thus far hidden
How was it hidden?
> Therefore it is also mediated by language
No, it isn't. Beauty is a word expression a sensation. The language doesn't mediate the sensation.
> [words] they have any unique power
As I wrote. So you're the straw person? Anyway, the assumption that you should be able to trick yourself into thinking something is beautiful is just as valid as the assumption that it will change the power of the word for you. The euphemism carousel is a vivid example of that.
It's positivity for the heck of it, to get clicks. In internet parlance, it's gas-lighting yourself.
> trick yourself into thinking something is beautiful
No. It's about directing your attention at the memories that, as you correctly say, scars may remind you of, and appreciating this. This perspective was hidden insofar as beauty standards reduced scars to the physical appearance, turning a blind eye to their signifying properties.
> Beauty is a word expression a sensation.
Interesting take. Is beauty the sensation or that which is being perceived? Are you meaning to say that the same tentatively beautiful things always illicit the same 'sensation' type in all people? What about the different kinds of aethetic experiences (such as the experience that viewing my scar might ellicit when it wakes good memories)? And what about cultural differences in what is perceived as beautiful?
> that you should be able to trick yourself into thinking something is beautiful is just as valid as the assumption that it will change the power of the word for you
Again, it's not about changing the word or tricking yourself. It is about directing attention and disclosing a new perspective on things. It's not black-and-white beautiful or ugly - it also depends on the context you are assesing this with.
If there is a 6 on the floor and one person is standing on the top end while another is standing at the bottom end, one will say its a 6, the other will say its a 9. Who are you to decide that one of them is wrong? However, if someone claimed that its a spaceship, they are clearly wrong. Noone is claiming that you can do anything if you just use different words. Thats your straw people. What is hindering you from accepting the existance of multiple perspectives/points of view?
> It's positivity for the heck of it, to get clicks. In internet parlance, it's gas-lighting yourself.
You might have a point here. Some positivity is really shallow and performative. Whether that applies here I don't know. But even if so, they still make a valid point about the beauty of scars (from a symbol perspective).
? Are you meaning to say that the same tentatively beautiful things always illicit the same 'sensation' type in all people?
No, just that we have managed to learn to apply the word "beauty" to things that cause a similar mental state, just like we learnt to label things "red" or "acid".
> What is hindering you from accepting the existance of multiple perspectives/points of view?
Reality? Our "brain" adapts itself continuously. But it goes either way. It gets desensitized when overstimulated. When using the label "X" for "Y", that didn't carry that label before, you assume that "Y" now gets part of its perceived values from "X". But associations of "X" are equally at risk to take over part of the anterior values of "Y". If you call too many things beautiful, it starts losing its meaning, and possibly numb you to the experience as a consequence. And if the original association of "Y" is visceral enough, chances are that you cannot overrule it, and that the reverse will happen.
Instead of faking smiles in order to pretend happiness, it's better to learn to accept things for what they are, warts and all.
I think the elephant in the room here is the reaction of other people to scars, especially so big and visible. Calling your scar beautiful and making that known is a passive-aggressive, pro-active move to avoid judgement through suppressing socially unacceptable behavior.
Disagree. Laser scar removal is a billion-dollar business. You seriously don't have to accept them as story accounting if you have "fuck you" money. As the costs come down and the business grows, in several decades it will eventually land on it being part of final wound treatment.
Scars and scratches do tell stories, whether they are on our body or on our bikes. Sometimes the same event gives you scars and also leaves a mark on your bike.
Would I go as far as "appreciating their beauty"? More like accepting that they are there, let them remind us of what happened, and how we prevent something like that from happening again.
For some young folks it may be an opportunity to pause and think about how sometimes people do not recover from their injuries. Most of us eventually become disabled, and we still need to continue living our lives as best as we can with what we have, which is why public transit, walkability and accessibility are important to preserve.
Years ago I went to a strip club and got a private dance with a girl. I noticed a quite visible scar on her abdomen. Against better judgement I asked her, "Is that an appendectomy scar?" Women that age are very sensitive about their bodies, you see, especially when their bodies are a source of income.
But her response surprised me: "No, that's my C-section scar. THIS is my appendectomy scar." I told her that her scars made her more beautiful because each one is a story; having them makes her a survivor and that's pretty hot. I think she appreciated that.
I have a really poor memory, like I can't remember most of my childhood due to trauma and stuff. But also I have lots of scars for many reasons - one in my right elbow when I was learning to ride a bike, measles vaccine, on both of my knees when learning to walk since I've fallen to the ground more when walking that when riding a bicycle, hot silicone burns in my hands, a piece of steel that almos pierces my penis, mosquito bites... somehow still I can remember what caused which and that gives me a bit of the few sanity I still have
I'm hoping that one day I end up looking like a junkyard cat. I don't know why, but I think it's pretty cool when someone is pretty banged up.
I'm not a very careful guy, so my hands are all torn up, burns on my arms / legs, old gashes... Each one's got a story but at some point they start to get hard to remember. I've still got two eyeballs, both ears, and all my digits though.
Maybe it's that Hunter S. Thompson quote; “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming 'Wow! What a Ride!'"
Take up mountain biking then, I’m covered in gravel rash scars, tear scars, random cuts from trees scars, dents in my shins from stones, slices from maintenance, all sorts. It really is a sport that bites back.
As I’ve aged the scarring stays longer and is darker so I’m starting to look like a population distribution map of some kind.
Wouldn’t change it for the world, great sport, great adventures.
Can confirm that. Major scars and my first broken bone on my third time taking the bike. And I liked it a lot when I was younger.Never had the courage to buy myself a motorcycle but realized that I was going way faster than even my in my car with my bike. Love the thing
I don't necessarily want to look beat up, but I'm also fine with it. It's one of (not the only) the signs of a life lived. I've trained BJJ for years, and don't want cauliflower ear like some do. I've drained them a few times, but my ears have definitely changed a bit, and that's fine. I also teach BJJ and let the new people practice moves on me and they sometimes can bump me and give me a black eye. It's always fun to sign onto meetings when that happens, especially since I'm way past the age of fighting. New people are always slightly awkward around asking what happened.
Hah. This reminds me of "Fight Club". He's all beat up in the office and nobody has the guts to ask what happened.
Good luck in training, I've always wanted to get into BJJ but don't have the time right now.
When I go back to work after a weekend of working on the cars, my hands are cut up, black gunk in the creases from the grease that NO soap could wash off, burns from hot manifolds and getting too close to spinning pulleys and belts. Someone always says to me "you need to wear gloves." My response is usually to hold up my hands, and say "this is my FAVORITE part."
https://youtube.com/shorts/e2A8czGPQxc?si=ZM87lybg9PAYikqb
I have so many scars from a childhood of running hard and falling, skateboarding, longboarding falls, burns from playing a lot with fires, running accidents and falls. It’s a good life.
Maybe I’m weird. I like my scars. I didn’t ask for any of them. Or I unconsciously asked for all of them.
Sometimes the universe makes a mark on you; what you do with that is up to you.
I got a little bold with dear Earth recently and she smacked me pretty hard. I knew what I was doing, knew the risks, and did it anyway. It’s maturing into a decently large scar, and I’m pleased. It’s a nice memory, that kiss.
Maybe I’m weird. Regret minimization, which most people seem to follow as a life strategy, is too boring for me. I always thought I’d die young but after luckily surviving some really stupid decisions in my youth, I’ve gotten much better at measuring risk.
It's a kind of survivor bias. Deadly scars never get such good personal feelings attached to them for obvious reasons. So the scars you have make you feel lucky.
yes it’s absolutely survivorship bias, fully ack that.
the funny part is contemplating that every single day we’re alive, no matter what we do, we are increasing our “survivorship bias”. Might as well play with the odds a tiny bit, roll the dice and have some fun, BUT safely on the margins of course :) Learning those margins is the biggest survivorship hurdle.
Insert diagram of a bullet-riddled plane.
When you injure yourself and get a lovely bruise, it can be a good story.
When you don’t remember how you got a bruise, it’s a bit odd, but it happens.
When you injure yourself and it hurts a lot and the bruise is barely even noticeable, that’s the worst. You earned a nice colourful bruise!
Ironically, it's the things I didn't do that bring me the most regret. The times when I didn't stand up for something or someone, and took the safe route. Those times I have some regret for.
Breaking an arm, scars, etc- They are unpleasant at the time, but zero long term regret. They are like squares on a quilt that tell a story.
Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. -- Sidney J. Harris
Even outside of the human body, appreciating things that have aged, served a purpose, and have been repaired so they can still accomplish that goal is a beautiful thing.
Kintsugi and wabi sabi are probably the most convenient terms to capture this.
I find nothing more satisfying of clothing that I've personally patched up and repaired the sea on. I have memories tied up in that. The same goes for the scar on my wrist from falling off that longboard in college when I was trying to learn (that was the end of that).
In John Sandford's "Prey" series, detective Lucas Davenport looks scary with a cut that goes from his forehead down his cheek. Bad guys know it's from his tough guy image but the reality is he got it from fishing when a hook went wild and ran down the front of his face. But he doesn't tell anyone that.
I have a prominent scar on my cheek. It's from Mohs surgery. People in my personal life know I'm a combat veteran and used to train BJJ and MMA, so it's always assumed that this scar has some drama associated to it. Even people who knew me before I had Mohs surgery tend to forget. When people ask I play it up a bit but then I let them down with the truth.
The only scars i like on my body are the ones from the plasma donations i have done. i have about 30 of them by now, with some strong emotions tided up in those pinpoints.
You can preplan too! My first two basal cells were close enough in symmetricallity on my shoulders that I asked the dermatologist to cut me just ever so slightly more on the second one to create a “wings clipped” effect. Now I have a clever response about fallen angels anytime someone asks about them
The film Crash from Cronenberg left me with this weird mixed feelings of repelling, fascination and curiosity. I don't know why, but happy to read it's a thing.
I had a similar thought a while ago:
> I find that much anxiety can be alleviated by finding beauty in transience, imperfection, and scars. If we feel judged for our scars, we become afraid to get scarred. We follow the path that results in the least amount of pain, rather than the path that leads to the most amount of learning.
from "Scars are beautiful" (2015) https://stephango.com/scars
Twelve years later I can say that thinking about scars/pain this way has made me far more optimistic, less anxious, less fearful.
The concepts such as "appreciating", "beauty" etc are all artificial. You have what you have. There is nothing to appreciate or not appreciate. You. should take care of yourself and your folk. That's pretty there to it.
That doesn't make any sense. What do you mean by 'artificial'?
Humans 'appreciated' 'beauty' for centuries. Obviously, we've evolved the ability to do so and the word 'beauty' carries meaning for people and is an effective way to describe their sensory experience and interpretation.
Attemtping to negate the experience of beauty and appreciation through a poorly-formulated behaviouralist remark is akin to a teenager saying that they can't touch a table because touching is just repelling and we never actually touch anything because it's just repellent forces. In both cases, the new formulation is completely irrelevant and doesn't remove the actual meaning from the word.
I'm guessing that the motivation of your phrasing is rooted in a psychological trick that you're using because you're miserable with the fact that other people are experiencing joy through beauty and you've either not the time or not the inclination to do so. A sad perspective indeed.
So is every other “concept” in the world, doesn’t make them useless. You can “appreciate” yourself and your folk in a way that makes you more likely to take care of yourself and them. Scars can often have very negative effects on self esteem, and are a real mental hurdle for some people, are those feelings invalid?
My wife is currently developing some stretch marks due to pregnancy. I intend to appreciate them for a great many years to come.
[flagged]
It is only your straw-people that propose this kind of relativism. This was about gaining a perspective for appreaciating scars, as they carry memories. It is pointing at the beauty of scars. It is not inverting the meaning of the word, but aiming it at something thus far hidden. The fact that some scars for some people carry heavy trauma does not defeat the point in question.
Also, don't forget that there is no objective criterion for beauty - it is a judgment call. Therefore it is also mediated by language. Even if you correctly see that changing words does not on its own change the world, you are shooting past the target in denying that they have any unique power.
> This was about gaining a perspective for appreaciating scars
Yeah, and that's trying to make it sound good. It doesn't change the scar. They want you to trick yourself into thinking is is pretty and nice and sweet and, probably, meaningful.
> they carry memories
No, they don't. They may remind you of something.
> something thus far hidden
How was it hidden?
> Therefore it is also mediated by language
No, it isn't. Beauty is a word expression a sensation. The language doesn't mediate the sensation.
> [words] they have any unique power
As I wrote. So you're the straw person? Anyway, the assumption that you should be able to trick yourself into thinking something is beautiful is just as valid as the assumption that it will change the power of the word for you. The euphemism carousel is a vivid example of that.
It's positivity for the heck of it, to get clicks. In internet parlance, it's gas-lighting yourself.
> trick yourself into thinking something is beautiful
No. It's about directing your attention at the memories that, as you correctly say, scars may remind you of, and appreciating this. This perspective was hidden insofar as beauty standards reduced scars to the physical appearance, turning a blind eye to their signifying properties.
> Beauty is a word expression a sensation.
Interesting take. Is beauty the sensation or that which is being perceived? Are you meaning to say that the same tentatively beautiful things always illicit the same 'sensation' type in all people? What about the different kinds of aethetic experiences (such as the experience that viewing my scar might ellicit when it wakes good memories)? And what about cultural differences in what is perceived as beautiful?
> that you should be able to trick yourself into thinking something is beautiful is just as valid as the assumption that it will change the power of the word for you
Again, it's not about changing the word or tricking yourself. It is about directing attention and disclosing a new perspective on things. It's not black-and-white beautiful or ugly - it also depends on the context you are assesing this with. If there is a 6 on the floor and one person is standing on the top end while another is standing at the bottom end, one will say its a 6, the other will say its a 9. Who are you to decide that one of them is wrong? However, if someone claimed that its a spaceship, they are clearly wrong. Noone is claiming that you can do anything if you just use different words. Thats your straw people. What is hindering you from accepting the existance of multiple perspectives/points of view?
> It's positivity for the heck of it, to get clicks. In internet parlance, it's gas-lighting yourself.
You might have a point here. Some positivity is really shallow and performative. Whether that applies here I don't know. But even if so, they still make a valid point about the beauty of scars (from a symbol perspective).
? Are you meaning to say that the same tentatively beautiful things always illicit the same 'sensation' type in all people?
No, just that we have managed to learn to apply the word "beauty" to things that cause a similar mental state, just like we learnt to label things "red" or "acid".
> What is hindering you from accepting the existance of multiple perspectives/points of view?
Reality? Our "brain" adapts itself continuously. But it goes either way. It gets desensitized when overstimulated. When using the label "X" for "Y", that didn't carry that label before, you assume that "Y" now gets part of its perceived values from "X". But associations of "X" are equally at risk to take over part of the anterior values of "Y". If you call too many things beautiful, it starts losing its meaning, and possibly numb you to the experience as a consequence. And if the original association of "Y" is visceral enough, chances are that you cannot overrule it, and that the reverse will happen.
Instead of faking smiles in order to pretend happiness, it's better to learn to accept things for what they are, warts and all.
I think the elephant in the room here is the reaction of other people to scars, especially so big and visible. Calling your scar beautiful and making that known is a passive-aggressive, pro-active move to avoid judgement through suppressing socially unacceptable behavior.
scar != tumor
The charitable interpretation is that they meant the scar left after a tumor was removed but they have not argued the point very well.
The post speaks negatively about the tumor that was where the scar now is. Why didn't they consider it beautiful?
It looks like the person in the photo had a parotidectomy.
I had the same two years ago.
My body marks are a good memento mori anchor for me. I appreciate them for that. Of what importance could they be anyway if today was my last day.
"Scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real." Cormac McCarthy, All the Pretty Horses.
Not always. I have a scar in the finger and I haven't the slightest clue about how I got it.
Is it a scar from the future?
Slightly after your 51st birthday you won’t know why, but you’ll embark on a yearslong journey to discover the story.
some cat, maybe neighbour's. 80% of mine were produced by domestic animals.
scars are fine.. knocking out a few of my teeth as a kid has left me with some lifelong recurring expenses however..
Disagree. Laser scar removal is a billion-dollar business. You seriously don't have to accept them as story accounting if you have "fuck you" money. As the costs come down and the business grows, in several decades it will eventually land on it being part of final wound treatment.
Ritual scarification is old as time, we will still be keeping the ones we want.
But I like my body better with them than not. The only scars I would even consider removing would be the ones on my face if I had any.
This is very wabi-sabi.
Scars and scratches do tell stories, whether they are on our body or on our bikes. Sometimes the same event gives you scars and also leaves a mark on your bike.
Would I go as far as "appreciating their beauty"? More like accepting that they are there, let them remind us of what happened, and how we prevent something like that from happening again.
For some young folks it may be an opportunity to pause and think about how sometimes people do not recover from their injuries. Most of us eventually become disabled, and we still need to continue living our lives as best as we can with what we have, which is why public transit, walkability and accessibility are important to preserve.
Years ago I went to a strip club and got a private dance with a girl. I noticed a quite visible scar on her abdomen. Against better judgement I asked her, "Is that an appendectomy scar?" Women that age are very sensitive about their bodies, you see, especially when their bodies are a source of income.
But her response surprised me: "No, that's my C-section scar. THIS is my appendectomy scar." I told her that her scars made her more beautiful because each one is a story; having them makes her a survivor and that's pretty hot. I think she appreciated that.
I have a really poor memory, like I can't remember most of my childhood due to trauma and stuff. But also I have lots of scars for many reasons - one in my right elbow when I was learning to ride a bike, measles vaccine, on both of my knees when learning to walk since I've fallen to the ground more when walking that when riding a bicycle, hot silicone burns in my hands, a piece of steel that almos pierces my penis, mosquito bites... somehow still I can remember what caused which and that gives me a bit of the few sanity I still have
I'm not going to appreciate the scars from when I cut myself as a teen.
In time you might, as reminders of a hard-earned lesson. Age does funny things to people. You might say it scars your brain.
The lesson I learned was not to talk to my mom about my problems
embodied kintsugi
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